How to Practice Listening Internally Among Chaos Externally

Hey legend, it's Josh here.

I held off writing about this until it felt right.

I was in the gym on Monday morning with my mate when he told me about what happened in Bondi.

I didn't see the news so it came as a shock (which I'm sure it did for most Aussies).

Within a few hours I started seeing social media get flooded with all sorts of reactive commentary.

Blaming, hatred, anger and all of the rest of it.

These are fairly normal reactions to have when something of this magnitude takes place.

Especially in Australia where these kinds of events aren't common.

However, in this blog I want to offer a different way of responding.

Because the truth is, nothing good ever comes from reacting to circumstances.

Learning to respond always creates more positive outcomes.

Whether you're reacting to external chaos or your own internal chaos, the pattern is the same...

You get wound up emotionally and you forget how to think clearly and rationally.

And that's the real problem when it comes to managing your state of mind.

We suffer not because difficult things happen, but because we lose ourselves in the stories we create about them.

The Reactive Trap

It's so easy to get swept up in our emotions.

Whether that's your individual emotion or collective emotion.

You wake up, check your phone, see the news, and within minutes you're spiraling.

Your heart's racing.

Your mind's running worst-case scenarios.

You're imagining what you'd do if it happened to you or someone you love.

Then you open Instagram and everyone's got an opinion.

Some people are angry.

Some are scared.

Some are pointing fingers.

And before you know it, you're lost in it.

You're not present anymore.

You're not in your actual environment.

You're trapped in a mental story about something happening somewhere else.

This is what I call the reactive trap.

And it's emotionally exhausting.

The thing is, most people don't even realize they're stuck in it.

They think their anxiety or anger is justified because "the world is going crazy."

They think their stress is normal because "there's so much to worry about."

But here's the hard truth:

• Your stress and anxiety isn't just about what's happening in the world.
• It's about your relationship with yourself.

I spoke about this with my clients on our regular Monday coaching call this week.

Deep Listening

Let me teach you something that took me years to understand.

There's a difference between "hearing" and listening deeply.

Hearing is passive.

You hear the noise. You hear the thoughts. You hear the opinions.

Deep listening is active.

It's conscious and it's intentional.

Deep listening is about connecting with the present moment without judgment, without attachment, without the constant mental noise your mind loves to play out.

Here's an example of what that looks like in practice:

When you're trying to meditate and you hear a noise like a truck driving past, dishes clanking in the kitchen or your neighbor's lawnmower through the window.. you have two choices.

Choice 1: Create a story about it.

"This is ruining my peace. Why do they always make noise when I'm trying to relax? This area is so noisy. I can't do this. I need to move somewhere quieter."

You just spiraled.

You created a whole mental narrative about what a sound means.

And now you're suffering.

Choice 2: Just listen.

Hear the sound as sound.

Without layering meaning onto it.

Without making it wrong.

Without needing it to be different.

Just let it be what it is...

Vibrations in the air, momentary phenomena arising and passing away.

That's deep listening.

And it's not just for listening, it's a feeling process as well.

A Personal Example

Let me give you a personal example of how this works.

My daughter Coco is three years old.

Last week, we were at the shops and my wife and I decided she should use the toilet before we drove home.

Logical parent decision, right?

So I took her to the bathroom.

She said she didn't want to go but I wasn't really listening.

I thought: She needs to go so she doesn't have an accident in the car.

She started crying. Resisting. Saying no.

Then I stopped.

I got down to her eye level. I held her hand. And I actually listened.

"I don't want to go to the toilet," she said.

"Okay. We wanted you to go so you don't have an accident in the car. Can you hold it until we get home?"

"Yes, I can hold it."

"Alright. I trust you."

We went home. She was fine.

The point isn't about toilet training.

The point is how often we try to force things because we think we know better.

We force the world to be a certain way.

We force our emotions to be different.

We force reality to match our expectations.

But when we slow down and actually listen (really listen) there's often a wisdom already present that we were too busy to notice.

Your Energy Is Everything

Here's what I want you to understand:

• You can't change the world.
• But you can change yourself.

I learned this years ago when I was 17, smoking too much weed and diving down conspiracy rabbit holes with my mates.

We'd sit around talking about how the government was controlling us, how the system was rigged, how everything was fucked.

Then one day I asked myself a different kind of question:

"If all this is true... if the system is rigged and the world is controlled by malicious forces... what can I actually do about it?"

The answer that emerged was surprisingly simple:

• I can work on myself.

I can't change the government (nor do I want to).

I can't single-handedly reform broken systems.

I can't control what other people think or do.

But I can control my own energy.

I can choose to become a positive frequency in a world that desperately needs more of them.

That's something I've lived by ever since and it's allowed me to become a person who can help others and provide meaningful service to the world.

Think about it like this:

Imagine the world as a giant sphere, and each of the 8 billion people as small spheres.

Each of us vibrates at a certain frequency... positive or negative, calm or chaotic, reactive or responsive.

The only sphere you can truly control is your own.

And when you change your frequency, you change your little corner of the world.

You become the calm person in the crisis.

The voice of reason in the argument.

The presence that others can lean on when everything feels unsteady.

What To Do Right Now

In the wake of tragedy, we need this practice more than ever.

You don't have to have all the answers.

You don't have to solve the problem.

You don't have to perform perfect emotional regulation while your heart is breaking.

But you can practice awareness.

You can notice when you're getting reactive.

You can choose to respond instead of simply reacting.

You can ask yourself better questions.

Here's what I want you to do:

• Practice deep listening today and for the rest of the week.

Find a quiet spot.

Close your eyes.

Listen.

Don't judge the sounds you hear or the feelings you feel.

Don't create stories about them.

Just let them be what they are.

Listen to the world outside... the traffic, the birds, the wind, the voices in the distance.

Then listen to the world inside... your thoughts, your emotions, your body sensations.

Just listen.

Without attachment.

Without judgment.

Without trying to change anything.

Notice how you can find peace when you stop fighting with reality.

That feeling isn't dependent on external circumstances being perfect.

It's available to you right now, exactly as things are.

And the world needs people who can access that peace, hold that space, and radiate that frequency...

Especially on the days when everything feels heavy and hard.

The Choice

You can keep reacting to life or you can choose to start responding.

You can keep reacting to your emotions.

You can keep fighting the overthinking and anxiety.

You can keep getting swept up in every news cycle and social media drama.

Or you can decide, right now, that you're ready to respond in a healthy way.

That you're ready to develop the awareness and emotional intelligence to stay grounded even when the world feels chaotic.

This isn't about bypassing your emotions or pretending everything's fine.

Events like what happened in Bondi are tragic and horrific.

But pouring fuel on the fire is not helpful.

Instead, it's about developing a deeper connection with yourself so you can respond with wisdom instead of react with fear.

I really believe that's the most helpful thing you can do anyway.

 If you want more personal support developing these practices and learning to be a calm voice of reason despite chaotic external circumstances, check out the Mind Launch Method on my website here.

With Optimism,
Josh