I Learned to Enjoy Drinking Alcohol Without Getting Anxiety

I used to get the worst hangxiety ever.

It was a big problem for me for a long time.

Not the “I feel a bit embarrassed” kind of anxiety...

The full-blown, stomach-dropping, existential dread kind.

I’d go into a drinking session already anxious because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to control myself.

Then I'd wake up the next day feeling like an absolute sack of shit.

It was fucked.

And for a long time, I had no idea how to break the cycle.

This is the truth about how I went from binge-drinking, self-hatred and shame spirals to actually being able to have a few drinks and enjoy myself without getting anxiety.

If alcohol messes with your mental state, this will help.

Growing Up With Alcohol

I grew up around high-functioning addiction and alchoholism.

That environment shaped the way I viewed drinking long before I ever knew about the real impacts it can have on your life.

So even though I was getting hammered every weekend, deep down I had this fear:

• “What if I become an alcoholic too?”

That idea created anxiety and fear.

• Fear of losing control.
• Fear of becoming someone I didn't want to be.
• Fear of going down the same path that tore my family apart.

That was me. Every weekend.

And it destroyed my confidence.

The Year I Went Sober Changed Everything

Eventually I drew a line in the sand and (after many failed attempts), I made a commitment to going sober for a full 12-months.

No drinks. No excuses. Nothing.

And that year changed my life.

Here’s what I learned:

• I learned that I could make a decision and stick to it.
• I learned that I could face my fears and deal with my emotions.
• I learned that I had way more control than I thought.
  

I also developed a new level of self-confidence that was unmatched by anything I'd ever felt before.

There's really something to be said about making a choice and backing yourself on that choice.

When I came back to drinking after that year, it was completely different.

I had completely reshapred my entire relationship with alchohol.

I could now choose how I wanted alcohol to fit into my life instead of letting it control me.

• I wasn’t afraid.
• I wasn’t trying to escape myself.
• I wasn’t using alcohol to numb anything.

I was finally drinking from a grounded place, not a chaotic one.

"Drink Responsibly" Isn’t Sexy, But It Works

Let me be clear: if you want to avoid hangxiety, you can’t keep drinking like an idiot.

Here’s the rule I follow:

2 drinks = sweet spot
3 drinks = fun
4 drinks = the beginning of a slippery slope

It’s not a strict rule, just good self awareness.

If you know your sweet spot, you can stay balanced.

If you ignore your numbers, be prepared to face some demons.

Back in the day before I quit drinking for a year, I knew these numbers, but I had no self control to stick to them.

Now I have much better self control and can stick to them.

If I let myself go these days, it's a choice.

My Hack: Self-Acceptance

This is the real reason my hangxiety disappeared.

• It wasn’t supplements
• It wasn’t electrolytes
• It wasn’t “drinking water between drinks” (although that does help)

It was self-acceptance.

Most people wake up after a night out and immediately attack themselves:

• “Why did I do that?”
• “I fucked up”
• “I’m such an idiot.”
• “Everyone probably thinks XYZ.”
  

That’s what creates the hangxiety... the internal war.

So here’s my fix:

Pre-frame the session with self-acceptance.

I will literally give myself a pass if I know I'm going to have a big one.

It becomes a conscious choice I make instead of a reactive behaviour I have no control over.

This removes the internal battle.

And when there’s no battle, there’s no anxiety loop.

If You Drink, OWN it.

The worst nights I ever had were the ones where I “accidentally” drank.

Not planned.
Not conscious.
Just following the crowd or drinking out of stress.

If you’re going to drink, make it a conscious choice.

If you wake up hungover, the story becomes:

• “I made a choice. I had fun. I’ll recover”
  

Not:

• “I’m out of control.”
  

When the story changes, you stop spiralling.

Again, I want to make a point that I NEVER used to be able to do this.

I had to go sober for a year and face all my demons to get to this level of conscious self control.

But here's the thing I hear from a lot of my clients who struggle with drinking.

They say, "I don't want to quit drinking forever" or "I still want to be able to have a good time".

And I think that's fine however you've gotta be real with yourself and where you're at.

I can do this now but there was a time when I couldn't.

So you've gotta get real about where you're actually at and be honest with yourself.

My Last (Non-Professional) Tip: Hair of the Dog

This is not professional advice.

This is just honesty...

If I’m really hungover, sometimes I’ll have a drink the next day.

Only if it's "tapering off" instead of building up to a bender.

It's not to escape, it's just to smooth the landing.

It actually prevents the anxiety spiral, because you're  not being dropped from 100 to zero.

Your physiological system actually gets a bit of a cushioning (if you've already hammered it anyway).

Again: not medical advice. Just real life and the truth.

Coming Full Circle

My relationship with alcohol has come full circle completely.

There was a time when one drink guaranteed twelve, and twelve guaranteed panic, shame, and anxiety the next day.

Now I can have a couple drinks, enjoy myself, stop early, go home, and wake up totally fine.

Not because I’m a different person...

But because:

• I learned to deal with my emotions.
• I healed old wounds around alcohol.
• I practice self control.
• I processed the shame
• I embraced self-acceptance
  

And I stopped making drinking mean something about who I am.

The less internal conflict you have, the less the alcohol has to amplify.

And when you actually feel safe in your own mind and body, even alcohol can’t shake that.

If Drinking Triggers Anxiety, This Is Your Next Step

Alcohol isn’t the real problem.
Your nervous system and mindset is the problem.

If you want to learn how to regulate your emotions, reprogram your mind and reset your life, check out the Mind Launch Method here.

It explains who I can help and how.

You got this.

Wishing you a happy holiday season!

With Optimism,

Josh